Dear Abby: My best friend is getting married next year and is planning her bachelorette party. Now, they’re looking for places to stay at least three to four nights and spend more than $500 per person. (This is just renting the place.) Food, gifts, etc. are not included.
My friend is not a fancy, extravagant person, so I was shocked at how much time I would have to take off work and how much money I would have to spend. I’m worried about something if I try to speak out (kindly) and it will be perceived as not caring about her, her wedding, or doing this for her. It’s not that I can’t afford it, and I think I should take some time off, but it will cost more than I can afford. “I feel very comfortable. Am I being unreasonable? I didn’t want to not make her feel special. — Indiana is unhappy about this
Dear Sour: You are not being unreasonable. You are practical and your reasoning is sound.If your friend’s bachelorette party is more financially demanding than yours comfortably If you can afford it, you need to confess to her that the wedding will cost you more. What’s unreasonable is that she expects everyone to drop everything and go over budget in order to make her “feel special.”
Dear Abby: I have a best friend who I see every week. She decided to move to a quieter place. Of course, I was disappointed, but I supported her decision because it was right for her. She assured me nothing would change, but we lived too far apart for the weekly activities to continue, so I wanted us to talk on the phone every week.
She canceled our last get-together, saying she was stressed and busy preparing to move. I told her I understood, that I would give her space and time to settle in, and would wait for her call when she was ready. Never came.
We have met several times in the years since she moved, always at her suggestion. I gently reminded her that we had called before and mentioned meeting up a few times, but I got no response. Do I have to let her know? Is she gone? I want to tell her how much I miss her friendship, but I’m worried it will make her feel guilty or obligated. — Canadian Grief
Dear griever: Yes, you should let her go. Your friend no longer feels as connected to you as he did when the two of you lived nearby. If you want to tell her how much you miss her friendship, you have the right to do so. But please realize that not all friendships last forever; some friendships have a time limit, and yours with her seems to be one of them.
Dear Veteran: I salute you for your service to our country. On this Veterans Day, I say thank you to each of you. You are the embodiment of patriotism, self-sacrifice and devotion to your country. I would also like to express my gratitude to your families for the sacrifices they have made. , and what you have accomplished while serving your country. ——Love, Abby
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